Changing jobs in the first year as a mother, cultivating values in children, and experimenting with a Japanese baby schooling method. Cynthia recounts her adventures since she became a mother less than a year ago.
Cynthia Siantar is Go-To-Market Leader at Bank Jago, Indonesia’s first fully digital bank. With more than 10 years of background in banking, start-ups, and fintech, Cynthia held key positions in ING Bank and Oriente, and in 2014 she co-founded Call Levels, a finance market monitoring solution.
Cynthia walks us through her thought process of switching jobs shortly after giving birth, and shares the importance of finding passion and inspiration outside motherhood. She shares with us her insights into Heguru, a Japanese teaching method that stimulates the brain with activities that foster creativity, memory, and social skills. We also discuss the importance of nurturing positive values, such as the virtues of diligence and solidarity.
To get in touch with Cynthia, find her on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/cynthiasiantar/
Don’t forget to head over to www.parents.fm to stay up to date with new and previous episodes, join our community of parents in tech or drop me a line. I’d love to hear from you!
Thanks for listening to the Parents in Tech podcast with me, your host, Qin En. We hope you were inspired on how to raise kids and build companies. To catch up on earlier episodes or stay updated with upcoming ones, head over to www.Parents.FM to join our community of parents in tech. There, you can also drop me a question, idea, feedback or suggestion. See you next time!
Transcript
00:06
Qin En
Hi, I am Qin En. And this is the Parents in Tech podcast. Welcome to season one, where we interview mums who are technology company leaders based in Southeast Asia. We want to hear stories, hopes, challenges, and tips from mums who are raising kids while pursuing their career aspirations. In this episode, we speak to Cynthia, Go-to-market Lead at Bank Jago, one of Indonesia's first digital banks. She has more than a decade of experience in banking, fintech and innovation. Previously, Cynthia co-founded Call Levels, a financial markets monitoring solution, and held key leadership positions at ING Bank and Oriente. Cynthia has a 9-month-old daughter. Hi, Cynthia. Welcome to the Parents in Tech show.
01:02
Cynthia
Hi, Qin En. Thanks for having me.
01:03
Qin En
To begin with, could you tell us a bit more about your family?
01:06
Cynthia
Well, I have a baby. She was like a COVID baby. She turned nine months, actually just a few days ago. Small family unit with me, husband and the baby.
01:16
Qin En
So I got to ask, right? What is it like to have a baby born in a COVID period? I’m a little cautious calling it COVID baby. It doesn't sound great.
01:25
Cynthia
That was actually one of my biggest worries. Because I personally have seen the different environment that my niece faced. My elder sister has two daughters. Her eldest daughter is 5 years old. So when she was growing up, she had all the freedom. And even at nine months, she was already traveling to Perth, to KL and all. Whereas her second one was also a COVID baby. Her second one is 19 months right now. Ans I saw the difference in the environment they grew up in. I think it is a contributing factor to their personality. In the sense that I think the elder one is more open. I think she's maybe quicker to pick up things. Whereas the second one, perhaps is a little bit hesitant. When she first met new people, especially after we just got out of lockdown last year, that was the first time I think, she sees all of us, my parents. I think it's just different. And I felt a bit bad for them because to them COVID world is their world. To the extent that, when my second niece sees us wearing masks, she gets excited.
02:32
Cynthia
She basically equates wearing masks as, “Hey, I get to get out!” And every time she had the opportunity to get out of the house, she's just so excited. So my biggest worry about when I have a COVID baby is, how do I create that interaction with people, but still keep her safe. Of course, with this whole situation we really have not brought her out much. Even if we go out, we tend to look for the open space. But it's also very hot in Singapore so she gets sweaty. Then her skin gets wet. I think it's just balancing. But I made a decision to start sending her for like baby school. I know people will say I’m very kiasu, tiger parenting. But I just thought it was cute. So right now, her class has six babies including her. So, I thought it's just cute to see all of them just trying to interact with each other. And I think that’s just cute. Hopefully, they are absorbing whatever the teacher is teaching them at the same time.
03:29
Qin En
That's so nice. Tell me a bit more about this baby school. When did you start sending her and what is baby school?
03:35
Cynthia
I started sending her just after she turned six months. It is based on this Japanese teaching method called Heguru. And 45 minutes jam packed with activities. But the activities? It's really a lot of flash cards, there’s song and dance. I guess they play around with the lights, storytelling. But I think the key differentiator with this specific method versus maybe the others is that they basically flash the flashcards at a fast speed. Apparently because it's so fast, it would forcefully stimulate the right brain. Because only the right brain is able to absorb information at the speed. The right brain is also the one that is more creative and also basically good for memory. But we will only see this when she gets older. Now I have no idea how to tell. But I do like that. At least in this kind of setting, she gets to see other babies. Also, I try to replicate that with some play dates. I mean, it's on and off. Like when it was down to just two people in a social group, then they couldn't really do the play dates. But now it's back to 5 again. So, I plan to ramp that up again. So hopefully, maybe once a week, at least she gets to meet different babies or different kids.
04:53
Qin En
Wow. Okay. I want to go into the play group and playdates a little more, but let me come back to baby school and the Heguru method. What was the thought process and how much time did you do all that research? Because I'm sure you didn't sign up to the first thing that you saw on Google. So, walk me through that.
05:07
Cynthia
I have the advantage because I have an older sister and she went through a lot of this. I just simply asked her. To be honest, I fall into the category of mum where I didn't really do much research on the things. This is beyond just a baby school. Even the type of diapers brand that I'm buying and things like that. I just asked my sister, “Hey, what works?” Then she was like, “Oh, this is good.” Then I just buy it in bulk.
05:31
Qin En
Okay. Any chance your nieces and your daughter are in the same school? Or are they in different places? Because I guess Heguru method, is it done by one school or multiple schools?
05:41
Cynthia
Multiple schools. I think it’s a franchise. For me, we selected the one in Choa Chu Kang which is nearer to where we stay. My elder niece went to the one in the east. My second niece, unfortunately, she actually did one lesson and then it was canceled because of COVID. She was at a time where COVID situation really surged. So, my sister just decided to wait until she can attend preschool, which is like next year.
06:08
Qin En
How frequently are these classes of curiosity? Because the fact that you have to accompany your daughter there, that takes time.
06:14
Cynthia
Once a week.
06:14
Qin En
Once a week. Okay. So that's fine. Once a week, 45 minutes. That's still manageable.
06:19
Cynthia
Because Heguru is a very educational, academic method, I was considering maybe a more fun music and dance is what they call it? I think movement and dance. I went for a trial class with my husband's cousin who also has a baby daughter just a few months younger than mine. But we felt that they will not able to enjoy the class as much because they can't stand up and walk yet. Then we felt that it wasn't as effective, but I might consider that maybe next year. To me, if I were to recap back on my own upbringing where my parents gave me the opportunity to try all sorts of things, I want to provide the same for my baby as well. But with the exception that I don't think it is good to put them through tests or examinations since young, because I think that kills the passion.
07:05
Cynthia
Take, for example, music. I think a lot of us grew up learning piano, but a lot of us had to take exams. I remember when I was younger, that really killed my passion. In the end, all I remember was that the whole year I was practicing my exam piece and I didn't like it. So this time round, I want to give her the exposure but not make it boring for her, but at the same time, give her the choice. Let’s say if I don't like piano, perhaps I try something else.
07:28
Qin En
I remember I also went through the same process. Every year just practicing the three pieces and the skills. It's always like, okay, the next level. The next level. It's something that just kills the fun, kills the joy. I'm glad that to hear that's something that you're conscious of changing. Maybe Cynthia, walk us through what were some of the parenting styles that you grew up under. And what are the one or two things that you plan to take now that you’re a parent?
07:52
Cynthia
I grew up in a very strict family, especially my dad. He was very strict with us growing up. Since young, we've always been taught about the importance of doing well in school, which I would, I guess, modify when it comes to the next generation. Because I think we've also learned in our own way that getting good grades doesn't mean everything. But at the same time, one thing that I get from my own upbringing, which I do want to provide to her is the idea that you should have aims. You should have goals and you should be able to learn how to work hard for it. It can be for school. It can be maybe for something you like, it can be for sports, music, dance and all. But I think the value of hard work and building that strong foundation. The other one is about value of money.
08:40
Cynthia
Other than being strict, my parents were very prudent with how we spend money. Never giving us the access to a point. This might be a very frivolous example. I think perhaps a lot of families, they are more willing to indulge their children in semi luxury stuff. In my case, I remember my dad told me that, “Okay, you want that branded bag that you like? Then you got to get good grades first.” So, there's a reward. You want something, you got to work hard for it and justify why you can have it. I think that translates the way I tend to manage my own money. Say, if I want to have a certain level of life that I've been comfortable enough, then I need to be able to earn enough to afford my lifestyle. I shouldn't need to depend on anyone to give me the lifestyle that I want. Or if I can't earn enough, then sorry, I have to just downgrade myself.
09:39
Qin En
You have to live within your means, right?
Cynthia
Yes, live within means.
Qin En
Wow. That sounds like both were quite similar. Both my parents were so much inculcated to the fact that, “Hey, whatever you want, you've got to earn it. You've got to work for it. It's not going to be given to you.” Yeah, I think it just brings that sense of understanding how hard it is to actually make money. The thing that I was telling half-jokingly to my wife, “Gladys, let's say that when our daughter gets old enough, I want her to go out and sell cookies, sell lemonade, sell something and just understand how hard it is to actually make it so easy to spend money, but making it is so hard.” But Cynthia, I'm not sure what are your phases, but I definitely do go through them. Do you get the sense that sometimes you want to indulge your daughter, I know she's only 9 months old, but you just want to buy nice clothes for her? Sometimes I go to the store, the kids' clothes are more expensive than what wear.
10:28
Cynthia
Yes. For sure. I am a sucker for all those sales events. I did spend a lot during the 10.10, 11.11. Because everything looks so cute and pretty. So, I did buy a lot. And my reassurance to myself is that I think now she's still a bit too young to understand, but definitely I think when she gets older, I'll be a lot more conscious. This is actually a discussion that I have with my husband. Because obviously, both sets of parents like to indulge in their grandkids. And we cannot really prevent them from doing so because it is their right as grandparents. So, we have seen that. And the agreement with my husband is, we will allow our parents to indulge. So, we will have to reweigh our own indulgence. So for example, if the grandparents are buying toys for her, then okay, we don't buy toys. Then there's also another step to it. If even without us buying, she still has too much, especially when she gets older, we want to inculcate in her the idea that you don't get anything for free. If you get new toys, before you can get the new toys, then you will have to maybe select one or two toys to give away to a friend or even donation. I want to instill the idea that there's give and take.
11:42
Qin En
Now Cynthia, I also noticed you recently moved and changed jobs. And it's quite interesting. Because in a year, usually they say you try to make one major change at a time, but I guess this year you both welcomed your daughter to the world, plus you shifted job. Tell us a bit more about that. I guess to start off, why don't you tell us about the shift and then tell us a bit more about how the transition happened.
12:05
Cynthia
Currently I'm working in a company called DKATALIS, but it's actually affiliated with Bank Jago, which is Indonesia's first real, fully digital bank, which was just launched this year. Prior to that, I was in another bank, working in the innovation unit. How it came? It actually started off as a conversation. There wasn't actually a real job posting because the bank is fully operated in Indonesia. And I wanted to remain based in Singapore. But obviously, my family is here so I want to be based here. The conversation started off really well. I started to meet a lot of their management team and I think the conversation just went very smooth until the point where they were asking, “Hey, Cynthia. What do you like to do? What are you passionate about.?” That kind of conversation actually intrigues me. It actually makes me feel that you want to understand me as a person. And because of that, then I want to be able to provide more, to do more. Under normal circumstances, you're right. Like I really made one major change this year. I shouldn't be looking for another major change to over-complicate my life. But the conversation just started naturally. It was a very comfortable process to the extent where I was like, you know what? Maybe this is what I also need. I mean, I don't want to go following from the birth of my daughter that I would just be defined as a mum and only a mum. I think I should also think about what I want to do for myself. What would make me inspired again and things like that. I found this in my conversation with all the management of Jago. And to the point I was like, okay, let's try this again. But of course, before I took the plunge, this is all about communication. I did discuss with my husband and he was with me through the entire process. I made sure that she has a strong support system. Having a great helper is godsend. So, I don't have to worry about the nitty gritties. Parents in-laws have been a great help as well. They come to our place every day to take care of the baby, play with her so that she can still grow up in an environment full of love when the parents are busy. Once I have that, I decided, yeah, let's do it. I think maybe also for the context of the audience, before I was working in a bank, I actually did start-ups for close to seven years. This was an opportunity to interestingly marry to a world that I'm familiar with. The bank and start-ups. And the answer is in the form of a digital bank.
14:40
Qin En
That's awesome. It's coming out together. There are so many things that we're to pick on, but let's start with this. Earlier, you mentioned when your current colleagues asked you what makes you passionate. So, I'm going to ask you that. What makes you passionate?
14:51
Cynthia
Looking at the problems to solve. I think that's how, a lot of start-ups are. Like what was a problem you are trying to solve? For me, because of the experience that I have naturally, it's always been about something finance related. But particularly the question of making people feel financially included, it actually resonates with me. For example, my helper. Sometimes I talk to her about how she manage her money. I actually even helped her create her own digital bank account in Singapore so that she doesn't have to worry about going to the ATM to withdraw cash and then going to the money changer to exchange, to send back home and just basically simple things like that. Previously, I realized that she was not included in the system. She doesn't even have a bank account in Indonesia. This is still, I’ll say, the problem that a lot of people in the region face. And also, view problems as opportunities. So, I always believe in that. Now when it comes to what makes me passionate, I think it's the whole situation or the whole experience of being able to build something and knowing that it would create a meaningful impact in people's life, which I tie back to this whole financial inclusion problem. That gels well. And plus, it also allows me to create a nice story for myself. So maybe transitioning back from when I was working in a bank, innovation and what I'm missing, I feel that I'm back in the ivory tower. I mean, it is a great job. I get the stability that I appreciate. Because otherwise, it's very difficult for me to always be in that hustling mode and yet trying to start a family. The ideal notion is that we can have everything we want. But realistically and I think physically, I wasn't able to take it as well.
16:45
Cynthia
But I think perhaps I was back in the ivory tower setting, I was, I’d say, missing. Like you know what? Am I really doing something that is meaningful and impactful? I don't have the answer. Sometimes it's fine to not have the answer, but when an answer or a solution was presented in front of me, I think it was more like, you know what? I think if I don't take this opportunity, I might miss it. And maybe a similar opportunity might not actually come my way. I think it's just the right time, right place, right everything. I think for me specifically, because I did mention about having to speak to that management, without naming names, one of the conversations was where I spoke with the founder of this bank. Very lucky as well, because he just happened to be based in Singapore for that period. So, I was very fortunate to be able to meet with him in person.
17:31
Cynthia
And I look at him as very accomplished veteran banker, have been in banking industry for more than 20 years, started banks, but this is more in the traditional setting. Have even sold banks, so made a lot of money doing so. And he's still trying to do more for his people. I think the whole idea of creating a digital bank and being able to really service all the underserved and the unbanked and even having more than enough wealth to last a lifetime, doing this again, that inspires me. Plus the other thing was, he managed to actually put a bank together and from his previous stints as well. And to meet without knowing him well, because that was the first time I met him, I just knew that he would be someone that I would want to work for. Because I think it says a lot when people actually, willingly follow you to actually make changes. Because a lot of the people that follow him, they are also very accomplished bankers as well. Yet they're willing to give that up and do something that people see as risky because it is a start-up. I think it is just a very nice feeling to be in the environment where I'm inspired again. And I'm constantly inspired.
18:45
Qin En
That's amazing. I really liked the part about you being very conscious about it, that this was something that clearly you are passionate about and you feel strongly for. And you will not let being a new mum hold you back from it. I think it's important that you pursued that passion, that interest of yours. It's almost like, because you are a mum, you become better at a workplace and vice versa. I really liked the clarity that you have over there. You also mentioned about, to make this work, you needed a support system. Now tell me a bit more about how you set that up, especially the part with in-laws. Because that always is a tricky ground. I just got to ask, how does it look like? And how did you make it work?
19:23
Cynthia
These are basically accumulated from days and days and years of discussions between me and my husband. Even without a new opportunity that’s presented to me that I want to take, I've always known that I'm not going to be a stay-at-home mum. I do want to continue to work. And I don't pretend I'm a hero. I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on really taking care of my baby to the best of my ability, because it is tiring. I think all parents can resonate with that, and still perform at work. I've always known that in order to fuel my desire to continue working, I do need to have that support system. Luckily, we are in Singapore. We are able to get help domestically. In fact, during the whole lockdown where I think a lot of the visas were canceled, that was my most stressful period I must say. Now in terms of in laws, it was a very clear-cut choice.
20:22
Cynthia
Because his parents stay in the west. My parents stayed in the east. For us, it's really more of like which one is more convenient. And we stay in the west. So, we stay closer to his parents. So naturally, it is just easier and more convenient for his parents to come and lend the helping hands. My parents will just try to schedule regular visits. So usually, I'll go to my parents' place on Saturday when there's no restriction. So, I think it became kind of a habit. But it's also one thing, because you mentioned about it being tricky, this is actually one of the discussions that I had with my husband. I said I don't mind. Because I understand that his parents are already retired and they want to spend time with the grandkids. And by all means, I'm not going to stop them from doing so.
21:05
Cynthia
But at the same time, if you have visitors every day, it does stress you out, right? Even if it's not his parents and my parents, I would still have to maybe get the house clean and all that. I didn't tell him that maybe little things like that, he will have to manage. Sometimes after like a long day of work, like back-to-back calls, when it comes to dinner time, I just want to chill by myself in the room. I don't necessarily want to engage in another conversation. So I also told him, “There are certain times where I need my me time and you will have to be okay with that.” And likewise, I hoped he will be able to communicate with his parents, which luckily his parents are very understanding. And they also recognize that we already have a very busy job and they don't expect us to always be there to host them.
Maybe it actually works out in a natural way. They actually treat like coming to our place as very natural. Like they don't even have to tell us what time they’re coming. Sometimes they'll just pop by. We only know when the doorbell rings. Which I think we have gotten into a very good habit.
22:07
Qin En
I like that. Because essentially what you have done is number one, communicate very openly and clearly, and also set that expectation. So, it becomes like a non-event. You don't need to go out to host them and all of that, which is just so important to make this work in the long run. And you have some of those conversations. So, I'm going to ask you next, Cynthia. What were some of those conversations about parenting where maybe you realized that you and your husband had different viewpoints?
22:33
Cynthia
Before we decided to have the baby, I think one of our main topics of discussion was about parenting. First, we started by talking about my upbringing and then he would bring up his own upbringing. Then we would compare, “Which one do you think is better new? Do you like the outcome that I have or the outcome that you have?” Of course, we agreed that it should be a combination of both in terms percentage, of course they are subject to the discussion. But generally, we agreed that it should be a hybrid of both. Because we kind of like how we turned out in a way. I think it's very important to have specific discussions like that. We did actually talk about very specific discussions. For example, the issue of TV. I grew up without a TV in my room ever. While he grew up with a TV in his room, I think since he was in preschool. He enjoys watching TV much more than I do.
23:28
Cynthia
Whereas for me, I enjoy reading books more. But then he agrees that he actually feels that it's better to not have a TV. Because I think he spends too much time watching TV. So, we agree that we are not going to have a TV installed in her room when she grows up. But I think it's not like no media, entertainment ever. I think maybe we'll also give her more than what I grew up with. So it doesn't get to the extent where if you restrict someone too much and then this becomes something that they would always work towards. And you kind of don't want them to optimize for the little things. I think that's one. I think the second one we agreed on, and we are both quite aligned towards this one. That we are really fortunate to have the experience of traveling. So when it comes to travelling, this is about the very prudent way of traveling, which my parents actually made us do.
24:19
Cynthia
It's four of us siblings going out, we would never book more than two hotel rooms. So it's always like we actually had to squeeze all in one bed. But it actually was a fun experience now that we reflect back. For him, it was just him and his older brother. So naturally, the parents would book two rooms. So, they all have a comfortable holiday experience. Now when it comes to our baby, I think we want to be careful. Obviously, we want the whole vacation experience to be comfortable. But at the same time, not overly luxurious, such that I think she will have a fair sense of why it's normal versus why it’s special. The last thing we want is for her to just take certain things for granted. I mean, nitty-gritty things like that. You can pick on many different things that we talked about, we even discussed down to whether you have TV in a room or not.
25:08
Qin En
Wow. But that is really intentional. Because even in that whole conversation of planning or starting new family, to discuss all these things, to want to hear about each other's childhood, where did you learn that from? Or is that something that just occurs to both you and your husband? Because it's quite unique I must say in a very good way.
25:24
Cynthia
I think I'm always the one that initiates. Because I'm someone who likes to do things with a plan. It’s actually quite funny in the sense that, because I'm very used to start-ups, in start-up, a lot of things, even if you have a plan, it doesn't always go according to plan. But perhaps I'm so used to that kind of ambiguity in my professional life. But when it comes to home front, I prefer a plan. So, I will try to plan as much as I can. Down to even timing about the transition. About how now my baby is up, she's growing healthily, she has a support system. That's why I get to pursue my own passion and aspiration. But previously I actually left a start-up so I could also have that time to just start the family. So, it was all according to my plan. So far, it has worked out. And this is also quite evident in a lot of things that I do. And I don't have answer. I would just discuss with him. So this whole TV conversation, I think it started because we are renovating the place and obviously we already need to plan. Like some of the furniture is built in including the TV rack. Then the question came up. I was like, “No TV in the other room.” And then there was my reasoning. Or even kind of asking for a bookshelf. Because it wasn't aesthetically pleasing to him to have like a bookshelf in the living room. But I said, “No, I want that because I want her to grow up with books.” I just initiate all this kind of discussion. Sometimes he's annoyed because he's like it’s been a long day, why do I have to discuss about TV and books?
26:57
Qin En
That's wonderful. I think, yes. Just creating the space for conversation is always helpful. It pays off in the long run. So Cynthia, what was one of the most surprising things that you faced when you became a mum?
27:10
Cynthia
One thing I was worried about is that whether I'll be a good mum. Because I know that I am not naturally someone who is very nurturing. I'm not someone who's very good with kids. It's always very awkward for me to play with other people’s kids except for my nieces. So, I was worried that I'm not a conventional motherly. And when my baby was born, she was so tiny. I didn't even dare to hold her because she was so tiny and fragile. I think what surprised me was that I was actually more patient than my husband when it comes to handling a crying baby at night. Because he was always the patient one. For me, I'm always the one that is more high energy and wants to get things done type. He actually stayed with confidence that he will be a great dad. And that he’ll be able to handle the baby. But handling a crying baby is very different. You cannot communicate with them. And I surprised myself. In middle of the night, even surviving on little sleep, I don't see a reason to be angry at all. My temper just was gone. And I think my husband was like, “Ughh, I don't know how do you deal with it.” I actually have that motherly side as well. But at the same time, I think this is where I surprised everyone else. Because I just came back from a work trip. So, I was away from Singapore for one week and my baby was crying for me every other day. But then when I was in Jakarta, I was just fully concentrating on work and actually not as effected as I thought I would be. Because there's always this whole idea of mum guilt.
28:40
Cynthia
So, I also surprised myself that when I was really in that work zone, mainly it's also easier for me because I'm not there to see in person. So, I was able to like compartmentalise. So the funny thing was when I first came back to Singapore, my baby was a little bit not very friendly with me. She probably was angry. But within like an hour, she was fine again. Soo I'm like, okay, good. Back to normal.
29:02
Qin En
I like what you said. It’s almost like ‘Out of sight, out of mind’. But it's also good that you are able to create that focus and also bring that back home. It's like when you’re at work, it's about the work. And then when you’re home, it's about home. I completely agree with you on that. The wonderful thing about having young kids, especially this young, it's that they forgive and forget very easily. Well, it's probably because they aren't super sure about what's going on. But yeah, I think what you mentioned about the mum guilt and questioning that can you even be a good enough mum, that's so real. That's something that I think many mums go through, but sometimes still struggle to even talk about. Now, another thing that's also somewhat related to this is, of course, comparison. I think for you, you have a sister with two nieces. There are naturally many things to compare. I guess it's somewhat in our blood, let’s say, Asians as well, more than the others. How did you feel about this? Did you find that there were times when you caught yourself potentially just being anxious or worried because of that comparison?
30:00
Cynthia
As in for me growing up? Or what I'm worried about my baby would face?
Qin En
As a parent.
Cynthia
As a parent. I mean, for sure. Which is also maybe why I decided to sign up for the class. Because there’s this whole wave of emotion that, oh, if everybody is doing it and not everybody is going through the same Singapore system, so if I don't expose my baby or sign her up for it certain classes that will help her and give her advantage, then she might lose out. So, I think it's this whole mindset that made me make decisions like that. Maybe a more specific example would be about the topic of preschool which will come up very soon. I mean, in Singapore we start very early. And generally, that is either that you go with like the more western method where you allow the kids to play, to discover.
30:52
Cynthia
But maybe the other side to that is that then they don't learn how to maybe read or write very early on because that's not the focus of the curriculum. Or you go to the local ones where they design the preschool curriculum to prepare the kids for Primary 1. So my niece, she's only 5 years old and she's having spelling lessons. I never remember having to do that. I grew up in Indonesia first 6 years of my life. I never remember having to do any of the studying or spelling when I was in preschool. But then if someone asks me which methods do I prefer? I’m actually leaning towards the second one, which is the local curriculum. Because she's going to go to a local school. In that sense, maybe it is easier for her to assimilate if she already went through that curriculum in preschool. But it's up to me and my husband to inspire her that at some point, be it graduate studies or undergraduate studies, she would want to experience overseas. Because to me it doesn't really matter which country, but I think the fact that you have experienced living, studying in a different country, it really just broadens your perspective.
32:01
Qin En
I hundred percent agree with that. I guess, to each its own. There's no right or wrong. But I would feel that for all that reasons and one more, which is I’d rather let the school be the bad guy for teaching the difficult things. I like the plain exploration. You come home and do it with me.
32:17
Cynthia
Actually, yes. You brought up a very good point because now you reminded me. Back to the whole play group thing, I wouldn't mind having the school to be the bad guy to teach all this dry, but necessary stuff. But then when you come home or even on weekends, okay, then we get to play. So, that’s under playtime. At the same time, it's also building that relationship. That maybe you can't get in a school setting because it might be too rigid.
32:44
Qin En
Yeah, definitely. Well Cynthia, this has been a really enjoyable conversation to sum up. What is the one lesson you have learned as a parent in tech?
32:53
Cynthia
One lesson that I've learned it's you can plan everything to the T, but be mindful that you're dealing with a small human being. So, things might not go according to plan. So, sometimes just take it easy. Don't kill yourself over it and enjoy the process. I think one thing is to enjoy the process. Don't overstress about every single thing. And then when you recap back, you don't even know what you were doing.
33:17
Qin En
Yeah. Spot on. To enjoy the process, enjoy the present. And not to live in the past or live in the future, but to just be with our children. That's golden advice. Cynthia, if our audience especially mums would love to connect with you, how could they best do that?
33:31
Cynthia
They can find me on LinkedIn. I think if they type my full name, I should appear on the site. Feel free, feel free to ping me on LinkedIn.
33:40
Qin En
Certainly will do that. Well, thank you so much for joining me on the show today, Cynthia. This has been a really enjoyable conversation.
Cynthia
Thanks a lot, Qin En.
Qin En
Thanks for listening to the Parents in Tech podcast with me, your host, Qin En. We hope you were inspired on how to raise kids and build companies. To catch up on earlier episodes or stay updated with upcoming ones, head over to https://www.parents.fm to join our community of parents in tech. There, you can also drop me a question, idea, feedback or suggestion. Once again, the website is https://www.parents.fm. That's all for this episode, folks. See you next time.